Raw. Real. and Ridiculous.

ಬೆಂಗಳೂರು, ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರೀತಿಸುವ ಪ್ರತಿ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನದಲ್ಲಿಯೂ ನಾ ಸೋತಿರುವೆ. ನಿನ್ನ ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣವಾಗಿ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೋಗುವ ಘಳಿಗೆಗಾಗಿ, ನಾ ಕಾದಿರುವೆ. ಕಾರ್ಪಣ್ಯ, ಕಟ್ಟುಪಾಡುಗಳ ಮೀರಿ ನಾ ಈವರೆಗೂ ಬೆಳೆದಿರುವೆ. ಆದರೂ, ಅದೇಕೊ ಬದುಕಿನ ಈ‌ ಪುಟದಲ್ಲಿ ನಾ ಸತ್ತಿರುವೆ. ನೀ ಈ ಬಾಳಲ್ಲಿ ಬೇಡವಾದ ಇರುಳಾಗಿ ಬಂದೆ, ನಾನೆಂದೂ ನೋಡಿರದ ಕತ್ತಲೆಯ ತಂದೆ. ನೀ ತಂದ‌ ಕಡುಗತ್ತಲೆಯ ಧಾರುಣಕ್ಕೆ ನಾ ಮುನ್ನುಗ್ಗದೆ‌ ಅಲ್ಲಿಯೇ ನಿಂದೆ. ನನ್ನೊಡಲ‌ ಮಾತುಗಳು ನಾ ಯಾರ ಬಳಿಯೂ ಹೇಳಲಾರೆ. ಪುಟಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಅಚ್ಚಾಗಿ,‌ ಕಾಲಕ್ರಮೇಣ ಕೊಳಿಯಲೂ‌ ಬಿಡಲಾರೆ. ನನ್ನ ಹೊಕ್ಕುತಿರುವ ಈ ಭಾವ ಸುರುಳಿಯ ನಾ ತಾಳಲಾರೆ. ನಿನ್ನಿಂದ ಮುಕ್ತಿಯ ಹೊರತಾಗಿ ಮತ್ತೇನೂ ನಾ ಬೇಡಲಾರೆ. ಮನದ ಕುಹಕ ಮಾತಾಗಿ ಬಂದಾಗ ನಾಲಿಗೆ ಹೊರಡದಾಗಿದೆ. ಹೇಳಿಯೂ ಪ್ರಯೋಜನವಿಲ್ಲವೆಂದು ಎನಗೂ ಅರಿವಾಗಿದೆ. ಹೇಳುವ ಮನೆಗಳಿಗೆ, ಕೇಳುವ ಕಿವಿಗಳಿಲ್ಲದ ಈ ಊರು ಸಾಕಾಗಿದೆ. ಬಯಸಿಯೂ ಹೋಗಲಾರೆ, ಬೆಂಗಳೂರಿನ ಅನಿವಾರ್ಯ ಸಾಂಗತ್ಯವೆನಗೆ ಮುಗಿಯದಾಗಿದೆ.

Nang luck illa, adikke nan ista pattidhella doora hoguthe anta naan andhkondidhe, but actually nang aagalna itkolo yogyathe illa, ivathu nan watch. Nan past ge, naan pattiro Yella kastakke, sukhakke, dukhhake, yelladakku sakshiyaagidha watch hoythu, hoythu annodakkina naan murdh hogo haage maaditte andhre thappu agalla. Nan hachkolodhe materialistic things na. Manushyaru nannogina manaviyathe na kondu haakidhare. Karune ge uddhatathanadha hesru kottru. Snehakke muthaluthanada hesru banthu, indu nanna watch kuda hoythu, nangeno Gothilla hogskonde antha helalare, maybe bere vishyadalli helthini yeno, iga nan kaili agalla. Nan watch nanna kanniranna, nanna dukhavanna, nanagadha mosavanna, naanu naanadha pariyanna kandiruve kone vasthu. Indu adu kooda nannondigilla... Bengaluru, ninna preetisuva prathi prayatnadalliyu na sothiruve. Ninna sampurnavaagi bittu hoguva ghaligegaaagi na kaadhiruve. Kattupaadugala miri illivaregu na belediruve Aadaru adeko, badukina ee putadalli na satthiruve. Ne...

Drop year! Quite a hard one for me to reminisce, I chose a safe way out, but some brave ones, I repeat, brave ones chose to fight with it again, to experience it again, to challenge themselves and win over themselves and the world by risking it all. Yes, it's a gamble, yes, it's risky, but lemme tell you, to decide to take up that risk consciously, takes a heart of STEEL!! And I swell in pride to tell you that two of my friends Niveditha and Yamuna, are absolute warriors and have decided to take up the risk. This is my note of appreciation to both of them, I hope they slay through hardships, break-up with distractions and rock throughout the year. Lastly I know that you both actually don't need luck,  That's exactly why I love you both.

It's 11:11pm I dunno whether I'm supposed to be happy about that, but no. I'm not. So my father drinks alcohol, he used to be rare drinker initially, now he's an every week drinker all thanks to my uncles. They visit us almost every week and my uncle and my father have a round table conference every week. It infuriates me to another level, seeing my mum's helplessness, seeing my father as a drunkard really breaks my heart. I scold him everytime he drinks, I scream at him, I shame him, I tell him how much it hurts all of us. He doesn't beat me or my mum when he's drunk, he doesn't irritate us or something. He stays quite unless he's spoken to, yet I don't like the thought of him drinking.  For him alcohol is freedom, it makes him feel less stressed (god knows how) but that's what he says everytime when questioned why he drinks. If I let him keep drinking, one day he'll die from fatty liver or liver cancer. If I let him drink even after kno...

I wish I could tell you this, Every moment with you was a bliss. All the those moments of laughter and of hiss, You've left me all that to reminisce. We've fought for silly reasons, Not seen each other for seasons. But as our affection deepens, We also saw that our resentment evens. You stood next to me even whilst my disease, Being concerned even for my simplest sneeze. While caressing all my crease, Your presence made me feel at ease. Life's never been the same since you left, I did find you foolish everytime you wept. But now I'm doing the same, Letting go of all my tears and emotions I had kept. I love you grandma. I know it doesn't rhyme well, But today, I couldn't help but tell.               

So there's this friend of mine, let's called her XYZ for time being. So she and my reddit brother, who's actually I don't know how to describe, quite annoying and irritating at time, were friends again I indirectly caused that to happen too.  He said that Kannada girls are easier to talk too, and easier to crack than Telugu girls, (he's a telugu guy and me and my friend are Kannada girls) we thought he indirectly taunted us, so we both roasted and grilled him, I blocked him, my friend did the same. He somehow knew my e-mail ID and texted me asking what wrong I explained the situation, he said sorry, somehow I was yet angry, so I got into my blockbuster-roaster mood and trolled him once again.  Then I explained how kannada girl are easier to crack, this statement can be taken out of context in all alot of ways and can stain a community's character, he said sorry, I don't know for what reason, I found it sincere. But my ego was bruised and I had decided to end...